It’s not the alcohol

A middle-aged woman comes to a doctor:

Woman: “Doctor, I get beaten by my husband everyday when he comes from work… What can I do to prevent all the bruises?”

Doctor: “Make lots of herbal tea and start gurgling it when he comes home. Proceed with gurgling all the time, until he goes to sleep. Come back here again in a month for another check-up.”

A woman returns in a month, with no signs of any physical injuries and she is overwhelmed.
Woman: “Doctor, you’re a miracle worker! This therapy of yours worked like a charm! ”
Doctor (silently): “I knew it wasn’t alcohol to blame. It’s your tongue…”